He’s Behind You! – the script scrapbook of the AspireTwitterPanto

Here’s the place to add monologue, dialogue, songs and other utterances between the characters of the He’s Behind You Aspire Twitter Panto!

Please note you can only add script belonging to characters who have been identitified in the project ‘bible’ found here:

https://drnicko.wordpress.com/2011/10/28/hes-behind-you-the-aspire-christmas-panto/

Once upon a time there was a very kind, considerate and generous Banker called Heinous. This may come as a surprise dear viewer, but there was a time when bankers were the pillars of society, when to be a banker was to be a sign of civility and nobility, when everyone loved a local banker and when the most honourable thing one could aspire to was a career in banking. Yes, strange, but true, and our heroine, Heinous, was a banker set in that tradition. She was brave, she was fearless, she was beautiful. Quite simply, she was a banker.

Opening Number: PIGGIES MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND
(thanks to Cabaret)

Piggies make the world go around
…the world go around
…the world go around.
Piggies makes the world go around
They make the world go ’round.

A mark, a yen, a buck or a pound
…a buck or a pound
…a buck or a pound.
Is all that makes the world go around
That clinking, clanking sound…
Can make the world go ’round

Piggy piggy piggy piggy
Piggy piggy piggy piggy
Piggy piggy piggy

If you happen to rich
And you feel like a night’s entertainment
You can pay for a gay escapade.
If you happen to be rich and alone
And you need a companion
You can ring (ting-a-ling) for the maid.
If you happen to be rich
And you find you are left by your lover,
And you moan and you groan quite a lot
You can take it on the chin,
Call a cab and begin to recover
On your 14-karat yacht! WHAT!?

Piggies make the world go around
…the world go around
…the world go around.
Piggies make the world go aroung
Of that we both are sure…
*rasberry sound* on being poor!

Piggy piggy piggy piggy
Piggy piggy piggy piggy
Piggy piggy piggy

When you haven’t any coal in the stove
And you freeze in the winter
And you curse to the wind at your fate.
When you haven’t any shoes on your feet,
Your coat’s thin as paper,
And you look 30 pounds underweight
When you go to get a word of advice
From the fat little pastor,
He will tell you to love evermore.
But when hunger comes to rap,
rat-a-tat rat-a-tat at the window
*knock knock* (at the window)
Who’s there? (hunger) oh, hunger!!
See how love flies out the door…

For, piggies make the world go around
…the world go around
…the world go around.
Piggies make the world go ’round
The clinking, clanking sound of…
Piggy piggy piggy piggy
Piggy piggy piggy piggy
Get a little, get a little
Piggy piggy piggy piggy
Mark, a yen, a buck or a pound,
That clinking, clanking, clunking sound,
Is all that makes the world go ’round,
It makes the world go ’round!

NOTHING BUT A FAILURE!
Enter Flash Buttons, at the depths of despair, no money, cut off from his inheritance but still harbouring dreams of his career as a racing driver. Emerging from the shadows are Failure and Greed, surrounded by a group of slinky slimy people dancing, known as the ‘Cronies’
Failure and Greed sing to Flash Buttons with the Cronies dancing all around Flash Buttons

Who are you? (REPEAT UNDERNEATH)

Failure, failure, nothing but a failure
Failure, failure, nothing but a failure

Those nagging doubts that you have in your mind
All of those people who haven’t got time
All of your problems you long to beat
All those emotions belong to me

You know that I know that you know I’m right
You know that I know that you know I’m right
Here in front of you
Blocking your way
Here in front of you
Everyday
Here in front of you
Here to stay
In front of you

Who are you? (REPEAT UNDERNEATH)

Failure, failure, nothing but a failure
Failure , failure, nothing but a failure

People pick fault in your every word
Moves that you make, all your fears, you’re scared
You can’t succeed, it’s so plain to see
All of your doubts – belong to me

You know that I know that you know I’m right
You know that I know that you know I’m right
Here in front of you
Blocking your way
Here in front of you
Everyday
Here in front of you
Here to stay
In front of you

Who are you? (X 6)

Failure, failure, nothing but a failure
Failure, failure, nothing but a failure

(for the tune visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BKg0z2zmUs )

A (FAMOUS) SONG ABOUT BANKERS AND CARS

On the corner is a banker with a motorcar
The little children laugh at him behind his back
And the banker never wears a mac
In the pouring rain…
Very strange
Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes . .

WHAT ALL GOOD PANTOS HAVE
‘what did you see?
‘a ghost’
‘a ghost?’
‘you didn’t’
‘i did’ ‘well we better sing it again then’