Apart from the Jamaican deejay who sings to an instrumental riddim (toasting), the unfortunate footballer who’s been to made a look a fool (left for toast) and the stuff you might eat your bacon out of in the morning (the toastie), the act of toasting in after dinner speeches is a cultural practice which has become a bit stale in recent years.
Confined to formally thanking the great, the good, the not so good and the down right wicked, after dinner toasts can become tired formalities in which generalities drown out specificities, the sacred is sacrificed for the profane and the humdrum elevated to the iconic. We’ve all heard after dinner toasts which go on too long, say nothing new and could be better expressed in a 140 character tweet.
This blog attempts to stem that tide of tired texts and tributes. It will try to thank, honour and celebrate the unusual and offbeat whilst not taking itself too seriously. Hopefully it will offer you lots of off-the-peg after-dinner solutions, should you find yourself standing up one day in front of a crowd of friends, colleagues or belligerent strangers and uttering the immortal words, “My Lords, Ladies, Gentlemen and Members of the Jury, unaccustomed as I am to public speaking…”
You may not wow the audience with your ability to sing to an instrumental riddim or impress with your soccer prowess but with any luck you will leave them with something to talk about until tomorrow’s breakfast offerings.
Coming soon on a screen near you: your daily toast.