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I have agreed to return to my day job and refrain from challenging the mid ranking personnel powers any more than they’ve already been challenged. Back in the land of grey and pink that is the multinational global conglomerate, the notion that everyone is now a Creative (or at least can demonstrate a modicum of creative genius) is now plât de jour and I have accepted that proposition with magnamity.

Civilians say you should pray to St Anthony when you lose your keys. One word in Saint Tony’s ear and hey presto love your keys will miraculously appear in the place you least suspect them. You can presumably pray for a key to unlock your creativity, presuming you’ve lost that too.

The new young recruits who lined up today for my course in ‘Unlock Your Creativity’ (the agreement I made with the multinational conglomeration in order to keep my status as Lead Creative in aforesaid conglomerate) have clearly mislaid their creativity keys in a wide variety of hidey holes. They’re a motley crew of no-hopers, mis-placers and dead losses and quite how I am going to help unlock their creativity beggars the imagination. The line up of the eight ‘Young Creatives (as they’ve been labelled) I’m facing is at best implausible, at worst, deluded.

But I shall do my best. Up to a point. Just in case any of these ne’er-do-wells have a smidgen of creativity locked away in their souls (assuming that’s where it’s been lost), then the last thing I need to do is open it up, cause further mayhem and inadvertently lose my job in the process. Unlocking creativity is much like shaking up a bottle of Coca Cola and then unscrewing the cap. Everyone gets very sticky very quickly and if you’re not careful the shirt on your back starts dissolving into a nasty brown fizzing mess. And some one usually pays the price.

So I shall start slowly and carefully and keep an eye out for anyone who looks remotely creative. Everyone may well be creative these days if you believe the hype – but some are more creative then others and they’re the ones who’ll cause trouble for the rest of us.