Well, Mr Mid Ranking personnel manager, you may cheerfully wave us all off from the safety of your platform on that journey of yours to Destination Oblivion, but this passenger is having none of it. What your mid ranking mind set forgets is that us Creatives – and this Creative in particular – are renowned for our ability to act lean, behave mean and think outside any inconvenient box you put in our way.

Because Mr Mid Ranking personnel manager, this Creative has no intention of letting you call the shots about which journey I’m going on and how I get there. And let me tell you for why.

The typical day in the life of the Creative involves constant struggle against the status quo, permanently challenging accepted social norms and disrupting the common sense of common people. Our struggle means that the likes of you Mr. Mid Ranking, as a non-Creative, can hand us over any kind of problem you like, knowing full well that whilst we might cause you some temporary discomfort, your problem will in the end be solved by us applying our differently wired neural pathways and unique aesthetic taste to that problem. Us Creatives generate solutions for you non-Creatives and once in a while we have to take stock and realise that we have to apply our thinking to our own lives and dig ourselves out of any holes we may have inadvertently fallen into.

So you may very well stand there on the platform smiling and waving at me in this train carriage to nowhere but the fact is that I can jump out of any box in the blink of an eye and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Look: here I am, standing next to you, staring into your shiny shaven face. See that, now I’m looking down and waving at you from up in the rafters and whoops – look again Mr Mid Ranking because here I am on another platform shouting at you from afar. And hey presto, here I am again standing right up close and personal next to you again because I can and because for me there are no boxes you can confine me to, no carriages you can consign me to and no trains to the end of the world you can assign me to. Because I sir am the Creative in this infinitely huge corporation and your boxes mean nothing to me.

What do you mean, here’s your P45?

I, sir, am not your employee. I am a freelancer. Do you know what that means? Free as in unencumbered. Un-owned. At liberty to take my services anywhere I choose. Lancer as in I have a long sturdy pointy weapon which I use to lance boils, whether they be of a social cultural or economic nature. I am The Boil Lancer Extraordinaire so if you think you can get me to sign in some poxy box on your form then I suggest you think again before this lance freely finds its way up your arse.