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We’re all going on a journey. How many times have I said that when it comes to explaining the creative process to civilians who don’t know their process from their product?

And here it is, being used on me.

I had started the day in quite good form, determined not to let the revelations that the corporation was about to appoint a second Creative to their ranks disturb my inner sanctimoniousness. The very fact of typing that possibility makes me gag, but type it I must and face up to it I have no choice.

I was midway through innovating the packaging of widgets when some mid ranking personnel executive strolled up to me, enquired about my health and promptly told me ‘we’re all going on a journey’.

I held my nerve for a bit and politey enquired where this journey was starting, where its end point was and what I could expect to visit on the way but he was noncommittal and refused to rule out anything whilst ruling in everything.

“It’s an organic journey,” he explained carefully. “It’s going to emerge and we’re all going to evolve together In a collective shared experience which emphasises our common humanity whilst recognising our dreams and fears and addressing our strengths weaknesses opportunities and threats, particularly in relation to our recently implemented personal growth charter also known as the corporation’s behaviour modification programme.”

So far so bad. “An organic journey? How fascinating.” I replied, barely able to disguise my disgust at his misappropriation of my previously cherished metaphor. “So much more engaging than an inorganic journey don’t you think?” He nodded cheerily, bade me farewell and continued his stroll up the five mile long production line which disappeared over the horizon.

We’re going on a fucking journey love and I’ve been sat in the cattle truck to hell next to some squealing civilians who have sensed they’re about to get a fat cheque and are already plotting on how to splash their cash in the most obscene ways possible. A new Ferrari! I hear from down the line. Dear God. A world cruise! Heaven help the world. The new Damien Hurst!

At which point I had to throw up. Go on a journey I might have to but not if I have some ninny’s jewel encrusted stuffed shark sat next to me on the railroad to oblivion. Time to get active methinks. Time to disrupt, agitate, innovate. Time for the Creative to break out of his box.