“Life is nothing short of perfection and nothing on earth can ruin it.” How hollow those words look this morning after last night’s departmental meeting when all the heads of department of district six of sub-sector seven of division eight of chapter nine of the multinational conglomerated conglomerate that is the corporation came together to listen to the latest diktat that was issued forth from the chaps on high.

Now loves I’m not saying I’m jealous or anything. I’m not saying I’m insecure or paranoid or anything. Or indecisive or panicking or having a rabbit in a headlights moment or anything. But. At last night’s meeting I felt an overwhelming riptide of stuff flood over me leaving a mucus slime trail of all those unwelcome unsavoury emotions washed up on my Creative conciousness.

Exaggerate? I don’t think so loves. You would feel the same if you had been presented with a fait accompli which meant that instead of being The One and Only Sole Creative in the multinational blah blah blah that is the corporation, there now stands to be and I quote “one more Creative” to join the Corporation’s ever burgeoning workforce.

One more? One more Creative? What do they think they’re doing? How can you possibly have two Creatives in the same Corporation? It’s asking for trouble: creative differences in the car park, tears before elevenses, tantrums, lunchtime tempers, talent mismanagement, storming the drinks dispensers, the works. What possible reason could there be for wanting me to share our beloved industrial economic military complex roost with a second Creative?