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Well loves, it’s about time I set you straight about what the life of The Creative is all about. You might think it’s all about jetting around on roller skates, partaking in the odd skinny fat café olé and playing Pac Man until the early hours waiting for the muse to text you and tell you where she’s been the last two months. But no, the life of a creative these days – sigh – in times of flat pack austerity – sigh – is not the golden time beloved of many a script writer, radio jock or Daily Mail bombadeer.

No, the life of a Creative is an altogether different proposition and it’s encumbent on me (known to many in this large multinational organisation whose staff canteen is the size of many large football pitches strung end to end) as the resident Creative, to set the record straight.

First things first. Those words: ‘The Creative’. The fact is love is that if I am The Creative at the office party that rules you out. There is only one thing you can be – the non-creative, the un-creative, the collateral damage – call it what you will. But we can’t all be The Creative one now can we? Otherwise that would mean that none of us were and that would rule me out of a job – or several small portfolio development opportunities – straight away.

So please: let’s be clear. To be ‘The Creative’ in the work place (and this huge work place in particular) is a mark of respect and you should use it whilst simultaneously doffing your metaphorical flat cap. You can do this in real space-time continuum or you can do it virtually: the choice loves is yours.