Data entry has to be done by a human.
Yes, I know it breaks protocol but that’s the way the boys upstairs want it to be. And yes I know it’s asking for trouble but believe you me, if will be a damn sight easier than relying on an algorithm.
Yes, I know our algorithms are top of the range but the fact is that the algorithm has had its day. Yes, I know that comes as a bit of a shock to you all but them what know have given me the wink and the nod is that this year’s next big thing will be the human.
Forget Google glass; forget wearables; forget GPS, GLS, GLC and don’t even begin to other with the GPO. No, the future is bright, the future is the human.
Now I know this will come as a bit of a shock to those of you who have dedicated your lives to all things algorithmic but trust me: you will be safe and your futures protected. We have begun negotiations with them upstairs about the kind of human that would be suitable for the job in hand and have been consulted about the best ways to minimise job losses.
Our boffins are working with their boffins to make sure that the humans in question will need specially dedicated algorithms to get them up in the morning and to get them into the data input station at the right time at the right place.
The operation of the human will not take away our jobs: it’s just part of a wider restructuring agenda which has been hitting the economy and our sector particularly hard. Steady on, steady on, threatening to wreck their work stations won’t help any one. The fact is that technology is reconfiguring our work life balance on a daily basis. Such is the way of the world and I’d be abnegating my responsibility to you guys if I didn’t spell out the repercussions of employing humans to input data instead of our tried and tested algorithms.
But I’ve been convenor of this branch for more years than I care to remind you and have seen these management tactics many times before. So all I ask you is that you trust me and the colleagues to argue for your best interests.
Now, who’s buying the coffee?