There was a time when all the fledgling start up business needed to start up was to set out their stall, woo their customers and count the shekels as they tumbled through the door, unencumbered by any thoughts at all about the internet, the world wide web and e-commerce.
There was a time when all the fledgling business start up worried about was how they could attract investors using the latest gee whizz bang words which would automatically guarantee them a place at the top table of the annual dinner dance of their local chamber of commerce. These gee whizz bang words used to be things like ‘non-stick’; ‘Made in Great Britain’ or ‘as shown on TV’.
Not any longer: the fledgling business these days has to concern themselves with matters much more ethereal and phenomenological. These days, if you want to get ahead as a fledgling business start up, you need to get an algorithm.
Chris is a case in point. Chris has recently set up a new business which makes remarkable claims: he has invented a little black box which, when plugged into people and the internet alleviates their hunger in a matter of days. In one fell swoop, Chris has solved world hunger.
And how has he done this? The little black box has nothing remarkable about it: a few flashing LEDs, a couple of discreetly placed on/off buttons, a power cable and a modern logo which doesn’t tell you much about anything.
No, it’s not the box that does the business: what Chris will confidently tell you is that its what’s inside the little black box: its a combination of cheap Arduino sensors, valves, diodes all driven by a killer piece of software: the algorithm.
Chris claims that his software developers have developed some world beating software which has miraculously emerged as the World Hunger Algorithm: all from their laptops parked at a service station somewhere up the M6. This algorithm will, at the slightest encouragement dispel your hunger for days at a time whilst miraculously keeping you fit, healthy and sated.
Chris has tapped into the sources of modern day magic: the algorithm and is currently travelling the length and breadth of the country looking for investors to back his world beating, Nobel Peace Price winning, doubt inducing, bank account emptying little black box with his algorithm hidden somewhere inside it. If you meet him in a pub one night, beware of his claims and whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to be plugged into the internet in the belief that you’re about to lose all those calories you’ve been pouring down your neck since you left work on the next round of Christmas parties.