Every religion has its God(s) and every human activity has its own patron saint to pray to: if you’ve lost your car keys, a prayer to St Anthony can help you find them. If you’ve joined a lost cause, best pray to St. Jude Thaddeus and if you’ve recently opened a coffee shop and can’t find your customers, a call to St. Drogo (patron saint of coffee house owners) might put you back on the right course.
Whilst Charles Landy’s book ‘Gods of Management’ has become an international best seller, no-one has yet identified the deities who help make business start ups more likely to succeed than fail. Forget business plans, cash forecasts and equity traps, the future of the successful business start up is in the hands of the gods and it would be wise, if you’re a striving entrepreneur, to get your head around them as quick as you can.
Rather than attend interminable networking meetings in future in order to meet new customers and suppliers, why not pray to St. Bénézet, the patron saint of bridge builders? A few words in his shell like will guarantee you an unending stream of potential buyers and sellers, without having to go to the trouble of eating those faddish fiddly finger food buffets at those tedious afterwork bashes which fizzle out just as the going’s getting good.
St Cajetan, the patron saint of the job seeker and unemployed is clearly a saint worth cultivating if you need to grow your workforce quickly, without having to resort to the troublesome practice of zero hour contracts for potentially troublesome staff. Caj (as he’s affectionately referred to) will ensure the very best of the long term unemployment turn up at your enterprise incubation unit, washed and brushed up and raring to go from the first moment they switch on your erratic laptop.
And whilst we’re on the subject of IT, don’t forget to genuflect to St. Isidora of Seville, patron saint of computer workers, technicians and software developers (I’m not making this up by the way). Isidora is renowned for her ability to undertake a 240 Volt reboot in the blink of her unblinking eyes – aka as ‘the switch off / on’ button in the trade.
But head of this particular catholic and apostolic church is St. Homobonus, the patron saint of business and enterprise. A quick prayer to him – coupled to a friendly financial handshake in a brown paper bag – is guaranteed to ensure that your business start up is looked after by the capable hands of those who know and those who can and those who do.
Business plans? Who needs a business plan when you’ve got the Saints on your side?