1. Psyche yourself up to write something that needs writing.
2. Write it out as a word or pages document – or use any other relevant software.
3. Don’t save it at all.
4. Close the doc without saving it.
6. Watch your hard wrought efforts disappear.
7. Try and write it again.
8. Admire it, second time around.
9. Don’t save it again.
10. Close the doc, watch it disappear again.
11. Continue this process for as long as you can bear it OR
12. Upgrade your computer to the newest operating system and carry out steps 1-6. The effect is the same.
13. Don’t cut and paste. Write it as it comes.
14. Print off.
15. Don’t save the doc. Shut down the app.
16. Scribble all over your hard copy, make amendments, cut it up with scissors. Get it close to what it is telling you.
17. Re-type on your computer – or better still, non-correcting typewriter.
18. Throw away the tippex.
19. Print again, despair again.
20. Discard computer, typewriter and anything with a memory. Apart from yourself. Buy a Parker. And some nice parchment.
21. Write with physicality, with full body attention.
22. Sweat, breathe hard, ache.
23. You are now a better writer.